Relationships will likely change with some of your friends. Some of them might not know what to say to you so they might distance themselves. Others might treat you a little differently than before. 

It can be very mixed with friends. Some of them just know what to say, some just bumble, and some just seem mean sometimes. They probably mean well, but just don’t quite know the words to say. 

It is your right to decide who to tell your story to. During this time, you’ll need friends who you feel can be there for you in the way you need. Choose wisely for yourself. 

Hopefully, you have some good friends that will be open to talking with you about what is going on in your family and will treat you the same as before—good friends make such a difference. 

Have you noticed many changes in your family the last while? Some of the relationships in your family might feel different when some members are spending more time taking care of the person who has cancer and less time doing the things they normally do. You and your family members might seem different in some ways, and this can be confusing. It would probably be helpful to talk about this with them, or  with another person you can trust.

Getting Through: a guide for middle-school and high-school students affected by cancer in the family

What has school been like for you since your family member was diagnosed with cancer? Some people find that they don’t like being at school because they’re away from their family member. Others find that they enjoy going to school because it is a place that still feels normal and it is a chance to get away from the house. 

It is important to know that your experience with school right now is not right or wrong, it is just your best way of dealing with things. 

One thing that is fairly consistent with teens with a similar situation to yours is that their grades may drop a bit. This might be because you are missing school more often, or you just can’t concentrate or feel like you don’t care. Learning about history or physics or algebra may seem useless to you if there are more important things going on at home. 

Many teens find it helpful to let their teachers and classmates know what is going on at home. Your teachers will probably be very understanding of your situation if you let them know, and will help you make school fit your life better. School counsellors are really great supports when you need someone to talk to as well. 

Perhaps you feel like your life is totally out of balance now that someone in your family has cancer.  Maybe you’re juggling time between the hospital, school and home, or always eating on the run. 

Here are some tips for taking care of yourself during this crazy time:

1. Talk to someone you trust.
2. Spend time with your friends and your pets.
   
3. Eat your fruits and veggies (and other healthy food...with the occasional treat like ice cream!)
4. Get some fresh air. Go for a walk or a run, shoot some hoops, or just spend some time outside in nature.
5. Take it easy on your self right now. It is okay if your grades drop a bit, or if you aren’t able to do everything that you did before cancer came to your family.
6. Breathe deeply. This works especially well if you are feeling anxious. Just focus on taking one long and deep breath at a time (like in yoga, which can be very helpful too!)
7. Play music. Do art. Journal. Sing.
8. Do things that you like to do.
9. Take a nap.
   

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a form of meditation in which you become more aware of the present moment, and your feelings.  Practising mindfulness can be a very good way to relieve stress.

For more information about mindfulness, visit the Mindful website.

Download the CALM app